Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
