He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it was like eating out sand paper
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
