Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
His hands were made for my vagina.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
