apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
