Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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