There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
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