I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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