In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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