He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
