Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
