I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
