girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
