She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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