Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
