singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
