I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
