U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
