I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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