I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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