We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize