I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
