dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
