I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
