I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
