it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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