i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Can you bring me the toilet please
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
