Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
