I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
