He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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