I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
