Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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