it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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