I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It's blow job season.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
