whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The power of my boobs compel you
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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