so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
