Welp...herpes.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
