The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
