Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
