who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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