I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
