A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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