You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
