after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
