Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
