We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
