That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
