If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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