So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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