I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
