So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
