She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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