Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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