My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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