So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
