just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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