I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
