To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
