The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
