The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
