Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
