are you still at the devil's house?
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
