I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
