you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize