You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
