Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
