You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
