i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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