hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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