I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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