She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
