I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
