On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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